I’m just going to come right out & say it:
Accepting yourself DOES NOT mean you immediately love yourself.
Self-acceptance = Self-love is a misconception.
What it DOES mean however, is that you have a high respect for yourself and your body. It means that you care how you treat yourself and you understand how you got to where you are.
A 2nd truth is that accepting yourself NOW does not mean that all progress comes to a screeching halt.
Ok, I admit this one sounds counter-intuitive. I mean, even I struggled to wrap my head around this one for YEARS.
The reality: Self-acceptance unlocks your ability to move forward in your life with greater ease and with far less struggle.
Here is the final truth - you may want to write it & put it on a sticky note where you can see it - WHERE YOU ARE IS NOT WHO YOU ARE.
That one i HUGE. I mean stop for a moment & re-read that & sit back to absorb it. That’s what I had to do when I first heard it. It was a BIG ah-ha for me. IMMENSE.
Ok, now that we have the 3 truths covered, it’s time to dive into each a bit further as I take you step-by-step through how you can change your mindset around learning to accept yourself.
As a reminder, the sooner you accept yourself, the easier it will be to become the person who lives in a healthy & fit body from here on out.
Step 1: Take Personal Responsibility for How You Got to Where You Are.
This means that every choice, every decision, every direction you’ve gone in, was all YOU. 100% you. That can be a tough pill to swallow, I know. However, when you do, that means the power is all yours in creating and living in the fit body you are trying to achieve with beating yourself up & blaming others for how you got to where you are. Ohhhh yeah. Blame. How’s that workin’ for ya?
As a mentor of mine once said, the good news is when you realize you are the one who got yourself into this mess, you are also the one to get yourself out.
Step 2: Separate Where You Are with Who You Are as an Individual.
Inside your heart & soul is your being. The body you are in is your shell. Your vessel. How you have come to be where you are as the status of that vessel is not the same as the heart & soul that is YOU. That is internal vs external.
When you can separate the 2 and become more of an observer about the state that you are currently in, and how you got there, you can then begin to move to step 3 below.
Step 3: Let Go of the Lie That Accepting Yourself Means Giving Up on Yourself
Giving up on yourself and letting it all go to shit is just a lie. It’s an illusion. It’s a downright fear (which stands for False Evidence Appearing Real) I mean, let’s think this through logically for a moment.
If you are a spiritual person, this last concept will be easier for you to embrace because you already believe your soul is all love & good.
Beating yourself up and hating on yourself when your inner soul is full of love & good doesn’t make sense, right? That is in direct conflict.
It’s like magnets repelling one another. You’ll never live in a body you love if you hate on it. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. They cannot exist together as one when they are polar opposite energies.
Instead, you are going to replace that old story with one of love & good:
“Self-Acceptance gives me the power to go where I want to go & be who I want to be.”
You might want to write that one on a sticky note as well. ?
Now it’s your turn - share with me! What is your experience with trying to accept yourself? Have you struggled with this concept? Has it eluded you?
Thank you for focusing on this. Self acceptance is something, thanks to you and your amazing Mindset Course, I practice every day. Giving myself permission to fail and forgiving myself when I do has helped me too. As you always say, this is progress not perfection. It also helps when I remind myself that nothing has to change right now for me to be okay. Knowing that gives me some space to ease into the progress of positive change at my own pace. I am experiencing what I am experiencing because of every decision I’ve made and I will continue to make positive decisions as I create the me I want to be. Thank you for everything Dana.
YESSS!!!! Colleen, this is amazing progress! #progressnotperfection & you are SO WELCOME! xoxo
The first truth is, as you say, a bitter pill to swallow. I did this because and so on and so forth. It rankles, but it’s true. I’ll have to work on that. The second and third truth make complete sense to me. When I had my huge personal epiphany a few years ago, I’d all ready worked so hard on the external me but the internal was a disaster. I had my awakening. My peace, my soul, my serenity, my love don’t come with the package. It comes from within. And now that I have that power, no giving up. It’s go baby go.