Haha. No. Not that kind of arrested.
I’m talking about arrested in my mental, emotional & physical development.
Let’s talk inner rebel, shall we?
You have one. I have one. We all do. It just varies on how loud they become in certain areas of your life. Where other areas they could give 2 shits about.
For years every time I “went on a diet” I would find my inner rebel - let’s call her “Betty” - I would find Betty screaming at me to “eat whatever you want!” “don’t let anyone tell you what to do.”
To a certain extent, she was right. It didn’t make sense that the culture only accepted women a certain way & if you didn’t fit that mold, you’d never make it. (Whatever that means)
So, I’m glad she was there making me question authority.
But, that voice made me go off the rails time & time again. Taking it to extremes.
Thinking “yeah, Betty, you are right. I’ll show them. Not only will I have a cookie. I’ll have 6. & a big-ass scoop of ice cream while I’m at it. Because I can dammit.”
And herein lies the problem.
I was so hell-bent on rebelling that I ultimately would only be hurting my Self - mentally, emotionally & physically.
Mentally - I was stuck in a tug of ego war with the culture I live in & the story I made up about myself and how others see me.
Emotionally - I was stuck in a roller coaster ride of ups & downs, pushing & pulling at me depending on how I felt about my behavior (did I exercise enough? Did I eat too much after rebelling? Did I step on the scale & weigh more than yesterday? Etc. etc.)
Physically - I was stuck in over exercising & it has taken it’s toll on my joints & made my body age faster. It’s impacted my fascia system & caused all sorts of tightness & pain, making it more challenging to improve my flexibility & feel good day to day. & let’s not forget, overeating made me feel sick more times than I could count.
So, while that inner rebel has good intentions (really, she does), if you remain at odds with him/her, you will never move past the tug of war. You will remain arrested!
I had to take the time to understand what that voice was really there for & how I could use it to my advantage. Watch this week’s video (above) & see if any of this rings true for you so you can finally move the hell on to the next stage in your life.
Important side note: I see a lot of “I don’t give a fuck” in the body love movement. I think this is part of the process & I choose to take it as a good sign because the next phase is actually giving a lot of fucks about yourself. So, it may start by your inner rebel pushing outwards, but eventually it will be your inner rebel getting what she wants, which is ultimately attention & self care... While you let other’s opinions & whatnot be what they are. Not getting so riled up about them anymore. That’s the ultimate goal: You do YOU unapologetically with no need to fight anymore.
Post below - can you relate to this stage? What is your inner rebel saying to YOU?
When I was first married, my husband worked the late afternoon shift and didn’t get home until after midnight which meant I was on my own for dinner. A carton of ice cream with a spoon lead me to a place of feeling just yucky. I joined this place called the weight loss center and the started me out at 650 cals a day. I weighed maybe 150 and was pear shaped. After a month of daily weigh ins and looking like a malnourished pear with my restricted food intake, they put me on the every other day program which meant I wasn’t being weighed every day. My food ninja emerged. I was thinking that I could sneak these extra calories in, like spoon fulls of muffin mix (what even?) and then walk a few miles figuring that’s the ticket. Ya, that didn’t work. I left that place 6 weeks later, the length of the program, weighing exactly the same as when I started. A more sullen pear. They had just launched Mr Big ice cream bars and, feeling defeated, I caved in a big way. Catapult years into the future and I found myself weighing 220. Quite a beefy pear. I began to exercise within my capabilities, learned how to portion control and allowed myself one Three Musketeers when I wanted. It took 8 months but the weight came off. And stayed off. I no longer restrict food, diets are not my friend, working out incorporating weight lifting via RealFit, gave me more pronounced shoulders and the defeated pear disappeared. I’ve come a long way baby! My inner rebel was non conformity.